November 23 2006
There’s no way around it. And you’re an active participant 24 hours a day 7 days a week unless you’re really unlucky and end up in brain dead coma. Then there is no activity but the participation part of it still exists.
I guess nothing is ever as it seems, everybody has demons but… nobody’s demons are more frightening than one’s own. Am I depressed? No not more than usual. Am I sad? No not really. Am I happy? I’m not couch jumping but I wouldn’t say that doesn’t mean I’m happy. Hmm… how about apathetic? I have to say that I might be suffering from a mild to severe case of apathy. Yeah definitely.
So another notch has been marked in the birthday belt, bringing the total of my years on this planet to a whopping 24! Yes that's right. As of next year I will have a toe in the grave as far as I'm concerned.
I'll tell you what depresses me about my birthday... I usually make resolutions of what I want to accomplish from one birthday to the next and I usually don't accomplish them. Forget New Years, it's the birthday thing that marks one year from the next for me.
So here I am actively participating with little say in the matter, and I gotta admit, I just don't care about a lot of things these days. I remember a time when I was brimming with intelligent and informed opinions on any given subject, and now? Folks are killing each other all over the place and I'm just like, "Whatever, what about my problems?" Yeah, I'm 24, apathetic and more selfish than ever. So if I know what the problem is why can't I fix it? Hmm... ever looked up the word apathy? That's why.
Anyhoo, I got the biggest compliment this birthday when some guy came to office where I work some of the time; and asked me if I was still in school. Ha! It's been 7 years since I was in that kind of school, mate. But thank you for the compliment, yes people it is true, I'm starting to get flattered with assumptions of youth.
That's all for now folks!
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